Christopher’s Pulled Pork (on sourdough bread with homemade remoulade)

Needed ingredients:

This recipe serves 4. (Click here if you want to convert measurements)

  • 1 Boston Butt, around 4 lbs
  • Smokey Chipotle Rub (yeah, yeah, you can make your own, but the off the rack is just as good). 
  • Sourdough bread. 
  • Mayonnaise.
  • Mixed pickles. 
  • 1-2 teaspoons of curry powder. 
  • A few dashes of Tabasco. 
  • BBQ sauce (I use Sweet Baby Ray’s Original, but that’s just me, blogger).

This is how you do it:
Wake up early, take a dip in the ocean and fire up your smoker. Rub the meat with the spice mix and throw it on the smoker. Leave it alone for 10 hours. Don’t lift the lid to check on it too much, ‘cause if you’re lookin’, you ain’t cookin’. All you basically have to do now is wait, so there’s plenty of time for blogging about your cooking skills while instagramming the whole thing (or you can just re-blog the photos I took – give cred or die!). 


The remoulade only takes about 5 minutes to make. Chop the pickles, mix with mayo and season with curry and a few dashes of Tabasco. 
Once the meat is done, break it to pieces using your fingers (or a fork if you can’t take the heat). Toast the bread, apply a generous amount of remoulade, put a heap of meat on it and top off with the BBQ-sauce. 

Done. 




Recommended booze
Any girly beer (that would be Corona or Bud). 

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Christopher’s Carpaccio (Toast Pelle Janzon)

 

Ingredients:

This recipe serves 4. (Click here if you want to convert measurements)

  • Tenderloin, cut in half-inch slices 
  • Toast
  • 4 egg yolks
  • Bleak roe (preferably from Kalix, Sweden)
  • Finely chopped red onion
  • Sour cream
  • Horseradish
  • Chives
  • 1 bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape Mont Redon 2008

This is how you do it:
First, drink the wine. Now, use the empty bottle to pound the tenderloin approximately 5 mm thin. Butter a slice of toast and drape the tenderloin over it. Press fresh lemon on top and then mount with a spoon of sour cream and a spoon of roe. Carefully place the egg yolk on top of the roe and finish of with finely chopped chives, red onion and grated horseradish. Fold the meat over all the good stuff, shove your knife through it to puncture the yolk and dig in!

Recommended booze: 
Non-girlie beer. You need something a bit chewier. Weiss-beer works fine, odd as it might sound. 

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Christopher’s Penne

Ingredients:

This recipe serves 4. (Click here if you want to convert measurements)

  • 20 sun-ripe cherry tomatoes (the good ones)
  • Large penne
  • 1/3 lb hard pecorino
  • 1/3 lb parmigiano
  • Olive oil
  • 1 head garlic

This is how you do it
Place the tomatoes in an oven-safe crate and drizzle them with extra virgin olive oil. Throw the whole garlic head in there as well, don’t peel it. Smoke for 3-4 hours. If you don’t have a smoker, bake them on 250° F for 2-3 hours. It works as well, but you’ll miss out on that deep, rich taste. Once the tomatoes are done, bring the pasta to a boil (make sure you salt the water properly) and cook until almost al dente. They will finish off in the pan, so drain them just before they’re done. Save a couple of tablespoons of the pasta water on the side.

Put the drained pasta in a large frying pan on medium heat and chuck the tomatoes over it. Give it a good stir to break up the tomatoes a bit (the whole point of finishing a pasta in a frying pan is that the juicy, good stuff sticks to the pasta, you kind of fry it in there). Once you’re good, grind some fresh black pepper over it, remove from the heat and grate the cheese on top. Stir again and serve in a nice looking bowl. Top off with a couple of basil leaves and smoked garlic cloves.

Recommended booze
Châteauneuf-du-Pape Mont Redon 2007, or 2008 if you’re slummin’ it. Or a Chianti Classico. Or any somewhat OK red wine really, as long as you drink it from small, worn out Duralex glasses.

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Christopher’s Sauce Béarnaise

Ingredients
  • Fresh tarragon
  • Parsley, plus the stems
  • Shallot, finely chopped
  • 1/4 cup of white wine vinegar
  • 1/4 cup of water
  • 6 white pepper corns
  • 2/3 lb of butter
  • 3 egg yolks
  • Tabasco

This is how you do it
Keep the egg yolks in room temperature while prepping; if they’re too cold, you’re dead.

Put water, vinegar, tarragon, parsley stems, whole pepper corns and chopped shallots in a stainless steel pot and let it simmer on medium heat until half of the liquid is gone.

Sift the reduction so you’re left with only the liquid. Discard the herbs etc. and let it cool off for just a little bit. While the reduction cools off, melt the butter on low heat and put aside.

Now to the tricky part… Add the egg yolks and whisk them into the reduction while keeping it on very low temperature. Keep whisking like there’s no tomorrow! The eggs will soon start to emulsify and get creamy and you need to pay attention to this. As soon as it starts to thicken, you must remove it from the heat (actually, you need to remove it BEFORE it starts to thicken, it’s a bit of a Jedi mind trick, but you’ll get the hang of it eventually). Once you got that perfect creamy thing going, carefully add the butter, very little at a time at first, and again, whisk, whisk, whisk!

Now just add the finely chopped parsley and tarragon, then turn right and high five whoever is standing next to you. Finally make it luxe by adding a few drops of Tabasco. There, you’re done. Bravo!

Recommended booze
The Béarnaise itself. Seriously, drink it, it’s that good.


Christopher’s Moules

There’s as many versions of Moules as there are bloggers on Lower East Side. This is the way I do it. Skip the fries and buy some good bread to scoop up the sauce with!

Ingredients
This recipe serves 4. (Click here if you want to convert measurements)

  • 1 bag of blue mussels
  • 1 bottle of Petit Chablis
  • 1 bottle of cheap ass white wine
  • Fresh thyme
  • 1 large shallot, finely chopped
  • 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped
  • Parsley, finely chopped
  • 7/8 cups of cream
  • Butter
  • Olive oil

This is how you do it
Throw butter and olive oil in a large pot on medium heat. Add shallots, garlic and thyme and let it simmer for a while. Once the shallots are soft, add 2 glasses of white wine – the cheap ass one. While it simmers for about 30 minutes on low heat, open up the Petit Chablis and have a glass, it is after all one of the perks of being behind the pots.

Now clean the mussels and check that they’re alive. Any open mussels should close if you tap on them – if they don’t, throw them away. Bring the heat up and throw the mussels in, cover with a lid and let them cook for 4-5 minutes. Shake the pot every now and then. They’re done once they’ve all opened up. Lift the mussels out and set aside, pour the cream in and reduce for 5 minutes. Throw the mussels back in, give it a stir and sprinkle it with chopped parsley before serving piping hot with toasted, rustic bread.

Recommended booze 
White Burgundy (The Louis Jadot is amazing and great value for money) or any Petit Chablis.


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Christopher’s Burger

Ingredients 
This recipe serves 4. (Click here if you want to convert measurements)
  • 2 1/4 lbs prime ground chuck
  • 2/3 lb ground brisket
  • Salt
  • Black pepper
  • Cheddar cheese
  • Onion
  • Tomato
  • Ketchup
  • Mayonnaise
  • Pickles
  • Burger buns

This is how you do it
The burger is the new foie gras. Except it’s not banned in California, yet. Joints like Umami Burger have taken burgers next level, as a blogger would say, but stuff like that is hard to pull off at home. So unless you know how to make jus de truffes or want to spend two days making your own buns, here’s how to whip up a classic, no bullshit burger.

Light up the grill. Burgers always taste best on a proper charcoal grill, but a sizzling hot pan will do as well.

Carefully mix the ground meat (you don’t want to work it too much, keep as much air in there as possible). Shape fist sized balls and give ’em a squeeze.

Slice the onion, tomato and cheese.

Grill the burgers for 2 minutes on one side, turn, put the cheese on and grill for 2 minutes on the other side. Never, ever cook a burger well done. At most, medium.

Now, to the mounting. Never, I repeat, never let anything come between the meat and the bottom bun. The bun will suck up all that good stuff from the meat and is there for a reason. So the order is the following: bun, meat, cheese, onion, tomato, ketchup, mayo, bun.

And skip the fries, that way you can eat two burgers.

Recommended booze 
Any micro-brewery beer that is hard to pronounce and difficult to find.

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